The Holidays are Getting Closer!!

Last week there was a night that was the most magical night of my life! Merely because I saw maybe the best concert ever. I may even go as far to say that even though I’ve never seen a Britney Spears concert, (I love her and I think one of her concerts would be AMAZING) I think this concert would rock Britney’s world. I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra! They were amazing (have I gotten that across yet?) These people are out of their minds insane. This group plays mostly Christmas music, but with a rockstar edge. Electric guitars and violins all over the place. Fabulous I tell you! Then to make it even better…there are lights going off everywhere that are in sync with the music. It was phenomenal. I actually want to be the violinist. She was freaking insane. She could rock out like none other! It was pretty freaking awesome!! I have some pictures of the amazingness:



And Even a Couple Vids (I know i'm getting Fancy!!):

EFFING PHENOMENAL!!!!!

Anyway besides my obsession with Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I had an interesting weekend to say the least. On Friday I spent over two extra hours at work to help set some stuff up and such. Then I came home and just hung out, staying late at work was enough for me. I didn’t do anything too exciting Friday night except for go to bed and watch some random TV. On Saturday though, oh Saturday. Tthe apartment was cleaned for a holiday party my sister and I had. Anddd ohhhh the holiday party. There was lots of wine and a nice headache and nap to follow on Sunday. It was a fabulous time though I do have to admit. It was a great time to spend time together and shoot the shit. And of course enjoy allllll the wine that we did! God I love the holidays!!

Today it was back to the grind of work! Boo.

This is the last full week of work until the holiday time! I can’t wait to spend time at home!! So the big New Years Eve plans are starting to take form and I’ve decided to go to the big apple for New Years. Not to watch the ball drop or anything, but to be with friends and in a big city where a lot will be going on. I’m very excited and I just can’t wait! If you’ve been reading my blog a lot, you will know that I miss spending time with my friends TONSSSS. So being able to spend New Years Eve (and weaves bday!) together! Really it should be a shit show….I can’t wait :-)

10 days til Christmas
14 days til a Dandace Reunion…

Quick Yet Entertaining Post

I found this…and I think its hilarious…So I thought maybe I should share it with you

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (First pet and current street name): Kodak Cresthill

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your Mom’s side, your favorite candy): Jane Toffee

3. YOUR “FLY GIRL/GUY” NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name): C-Di

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Pink Turtle

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Diane Oneonta

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom’s maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in): Eascamcone

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The,” another favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink) The Pink Chardonnay

I do have to say it seems to work out quite wonderfully…

Its a Holly Jolly Christmas!

My weekend was a phenomenal one. Friday night I went out drinking. Yesterday I did pretty much nothing except go out to dinner and watch “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” I love that movie. It is hilarious and it makes me laugh exceptionally hard!

But Friday and Saturday are not what I feel like discussing. I feel like discussing today. I had a wonderfully productive day…after getting up at 10:30. But that’s besides the point. I sat on the couch reading my book for close to two hours, and enjoyed some Christmas tunes. Then I decided I needed to get some fresh (cold) air. Today being the first snow here (it was actually more of a flurry), so I felt like I needed to be out doing things to appreciate the snow. So I went to CVS…used my 30% off coupon and bought some odds and ends…maybe even some Christmas presents hahaha-whatever I have no money. Then I spent close to two hours at the gym. Hoping to maybe make up for the lack of my gym participation this past week. Something tells me it doesn’t really work like that. But while there I stumbled upon the UNC/Notre Dame Woman’s soccer game. It was the National Championship game. So it was a very good game to say the least. It was tied most of the game, but then in the last two minutes or so UNC scored maybe the most beautiful goal I’ve ever seen to take the lead! I have to say my heart sank for ND, but that’s the way the game goes!

Anyway, after my power work out, I went grocery shopping and cook an extravagant meal for my sister and I (it actually was more like mediocre but I want to make myself feel good). All while cooking I hopped onto Pandora.com and got some great Christmas tunes on my computer and was rocking out the whole time. After dinner my sister and I put up some Christmas decorations. I do have to say every other year I have never really gotten into Christmas away from my “real” home because having no money and being busy with school and training, I didn’t really see the point (the no money thing actually hasn’t changed, so I blame it all on school…blahh). My sister is what I call a “Holiday Enthusiast” . I swear she lives for this shit. I honestly could go with or without it. I do have to admit I really do enjoy it now that it’s all done. Pandora of course, went on throughout the evening, just putting me more and more into a joyful and cheery mood! So now I’m loving my apartment and here are some good pictures of the place all decked out:

The Mini Tree:

While going through my pictures I saw some from my trip to the aquarium…so I feel the need to put a few of those up as well just because I love them:

TURTLE!! It was a baby one...he is very cute!!

Penguins!!

A freaky (but cool) looking jellyfish!

Ok that’s enough of pictures, but I am now going to continue my amazing mood and Sunday by watching Desperate and Brothers and Sisters, and then read some more of my book before bed!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

Am I Fooling You Yet?

I’ll be the first to admit it, I was in a pessimistic mood last night. Sure last night I called it “realistic”, but if you read it at all, you would have known I was just trying to make myself feel good. So tonight after celebrating the Diva Diggs’ birthday with drinks, Jose’s, Cold Stone creamery and topped it off with Grey’s Anatomy, I’m in a fabulous mood. I could just hug everyone and anyone I see.

My alarm went off this morning to go to the gym, I didn’t get up. Haha. I can tell myself it’s because it was my day off from the gym but that’s a lie. I was very tired and I didn’t hear my alarm at 6:45. I didn’t hear it until close to 7:10 which means there wasn’t much time to go to the gym. So I nixed it. Oh well. I’ll try again tomorrow…again should be interesting to see how this one goes. I probably won’t get up. I’ll convince myself I’m tired or make up an excuse. Maybe I’ll wake up at 7 and feel guilty thinking the rest of the world is probably up already. Or maybe I won’t even set my alarm for 7 haha.

All week at school, one particular boy has been very fascinated with telling everyone he loves them. At the most random times he will just blurt out “I love you Candace”. So today he told me about 3 times that he loved me. So as he was leaving I said “I love you jimmy john” and he responded with “OK” …what the hell is that. “OK.” Not even I love spending time with you. Figures. That’s kinda my life. HAHAHA. I did find it very amusing. It was quite adorable though because (side note: the kids name isn’t really jimmy john, I just thought that was an amusing choice of name).

So on these blogs I may come across as say grown up or mature, but I think I just like to think out what I’m going to say so I don’t sound like a total idiot. Which really I don’t mind if I do, because well what else is new. Some days by the time I get around to blogging, something may have touched me that has put me in a sentimental mood. Something may have made me pissed off or cranky (last night per say?). Sometimes I have days like today where I have trouble being serious about anything. But though it all, it’s still me. I still have my crazy side. I just like to try and sound smart on this thing. But if you do know me, I’m not fooling you with my fancy blog. Hahaha!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

Mood: It's Called Realistic with a Twist of Pessimism

I’m sitting. On my couch. Watching. Watching the magical performances of many stars before they light the Rockafeller Christmas tree. Its all so sparkly and lit up. Everything makes me think about the Holidays. How presentations like this make snow seem magical. Well I have news for you. Snow equals cold. I hate cold. Therefore, none of this shit is magical! Ok so the first snow fall is pretty. Then I feel it should just get warm again. And it would be magical if the first snow could be on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. But that’s too damn cliché so it would never happen! Slash lots of people don’t celebrate Christmas so nevermind. Also, the first night it snows is pretty and lovely, but do you remember what it looks like the next day. Or two days after. Even a week after. It looks like pure nastiness. All brown and slushy and awful. So basically, what is comes down to is, Christmas isn’t magical, its nastiness.

But I don’t really believe that, Christmas is fun and joyful. I enjoy the time with the fam and such. The snow and coldness on the other hand, that is nastiness

So on a more positive note. I went to the gym early this morning, before work. It sucked. I hate the gym. We are in a fight. But it was very satisfying. To be at the gym so early and know I didn’t have to go back after work. It was great. But yeah I hate the gym because I’m not in as good of shape as I want to be. Damn. The “more positive note” isn’t really working out for me.

So since I’m in such a realistic mood right now, my mood pretty much puts a negative on everything apparently. I’m not really in the sentimental mood apparently! Haha maybe tomorrow!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

The Art of Volunteering

So I haven’t blogged in a while, I was home for the turkey day! After battling all the holiday traffic, I finally got home to see some of the friends I hadn’t seen in almost 6 months or more. It was great to catch up with everyone. Share the stories of our apartments, the stories of our jobs or lack thereof. So we chatted up, drank ‘em down, and enjoyed each other company. It was definitely a lot of fun.

The next morning I woke up very early…it might have been around 9…to get up and volunteer at a soup kitchen to provide people who were unable to make their own, with Thanksgiving dinner. It was definitely an all day affair, but it was definitely emotionally satisfying. Some of these people didn’t have much money, but some people came alone, which made me feel very fortunate to have people to share the day with. From there I went to see Four Christmases with a friend. I thought it was hilarious and I love Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn, so really it was an amazing movie for me. Predictable, yes. Still funny, yes.

So after a fabulous weekend home with the family and friends, I sat in an extra hour and a half of stop and go traffic…booo. But while home, I stopped at an art shop and picked up some new art stuff for my painting hobby. So tonight when I got home, in order to relieve all the driving stresses, I painted…it was amazing, well maybe not the painting itself, but the stress relief of painting. Very odd that something that doesn’t require running until you want to puke or beating the shit out of a pillow, basically straight aggression, could be a stress reliever.

But anyway, I love the process of painting. Figuring out a good background color, maybe blending two colors together. Working it until it is the perfect shade of the color is there on the canvas. Then finding the abstract shape and the color of that shape that will suit the background color. This process is usually started by visualizing something on the canvas itself, and then drawing that imagine. Usually I finish it up with some accenting details to make the image really pop, but without making it too frazzled. And then finishing it off with my initials!! So that’s my process. Something tells me that most other people have about the same process. Maybe others have some more details, but I’m still new to this whole thing.

Any who, here is the fabulous painting:

Its back to work tomorrow. I really miss those long breaks of college, oh well maybe at some other point in my life it can be like that again!!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I Think I've Figured It Out!!!

I did it. After YEAR AND YEARS of trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life I believe I am on to something with this idea. Every week I think I should do something else with my life, but this idea has stuck to me for a while now. I have always fiddled with idea of being a nurse but at the same time I knew I wanted to work with children. I discovered this past summer that children are so innocent and un-jaded about life which is why I had decided I wanted to have a child’s influence in my everyday life. Which explains why I’m doing what I’m doing with my life right now. So how do I put the two ideas together?? I could be a pediatric nurse and work in a doctor’s office, taking blood pressures and heights and weights every day, but there’s no way I wouldn’t get bored after about 2 days. I need more variety in my life than that. So I was thinking about all the different things I could do with the two interests, and I decided that I think I want to work with children with cancer. I feel this could be very difficult, emotionally. On top of the fact that this means 2-3 more years of school. I can deal with the school though because this is something that I will truly enjoy. Bbut how will I know if I can handle it emotionally? …well I’ve decided to volunteer at a local children’s hospital and try to get involved as much as I can to see if having to see children in such a sad environment is something I can handle. I feel that in such a sad environment, someone like myself, who is cheery and happy 98% of the time, would be good in an environment like this. Maybe that is because these children could use someone to put a smile on their face, to change up the depressing environment they are constantly in. I will keep you all updated on that goes!

So on a more random note, the holiday Starbucks peppermint mocha latte is effing AMAZING!! It is one of the only things I drink from Starbucks, but I think it is fabulous. Any who…….

My sister has XM radio so every now and then we listen to channel 4. For those of you that have XM, you know this is the 40’s station. I’ve come to like some of the 40’s music. Particularly the music that has no singing. I just like the instrumental and no vocals, which is odd because I love to sing along (even though I can’t sing for anything). Every song I hear reminds me of something that is absolutely obscure and is not related to the 40’s at all what so ever. Except every now and then a song comes on that reminds me of the movie “The Notebook”. When I first watched that movie I realized that I would have loved to be alive during that time period. I felt like there was just so much freedom and much less corruption. So when I hear some random 40’s songs I always wish I were alive then and sometimes I let my mind wonder and think about the kind of person I would be in that time period. As I sit here listening to the Beetles, I think about how I also wish I were alive in the 70’s and 80’s and well I guess I was alive in the later part of the 80’s but I couldn’t really appreciate it because I was so wee little. I guess I should say I wish I were 20-something in the 70’s or 80’s. I’d truly take either decade. I feel like those times were pretty awesome to be young in and be able to appreciate it. I’m sure that when I’m older I will think the time that I live in right now was pretty awesome to be a part of, but its easy to take advantage of right now while I’m living in it.

Well I’m off to help my sister made a phenoooooooooooooomenal dessert.

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

They say change is necessary...

“You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens.”

Change. The word has been ALL over the place these past few months because of the elections. But I’m talking about personal change. People changing. Places changing. Jobs. Apartments. Lifestyles. Living in college was easy. Zero responsibility beyond being sure you got your homework done. If you accidentally over slept and missed class, no big deal. No bills. No nothing.

Now that college is over, its all responsibility. Bills. Rent. Being sure I have enough money to pay for those things. Being sure I get up on time to get to work on time. Being sure they kids that I’m teaching are learning and they are happy. I don’t have a family or kids or anything but I have friends I like to stay close to even if we are far in distance. I’m always trying to be sure to remember everyone, keep in touch with everyone. As time goes on and I’m apart from more and more people, I’m just realizing I’m changing, they are changing. How will our personal changes affect our friendships? What happens next? Will we change too much and not stay as close?

I think I’m trying to be good at growing up (even if I’m not happy about it) and I’m trying to take responsibility for everything that I do. I could easily just go through the motions of my job, but I want to go above and beyond and really make a positive difference in the company that I work for. This is not who I was merely 6 months ago. I loved the parties and the no responsibility and trust me, I was really living the life. But don’t get me wrong I still love partying and I’m not a fan of responsibility but I’m doing what I gotta do to get by right now.

I sometimes think I’m handling it well. I’ve changed, but I’m staying true to who I am at the same time. I haven’t made any crazy changes in my life and I haven’t started doing things I never would have done a few months ago. And as I sit here thinking about all the people that have come into my life in the past years (even the past months) I can easily think of ways that each person has effected me, changed me, made me to be a better person, brought out the best in me, brought out the worst in me, made me happy, made me sad, made me re-think my life and what I’ve done with it thus far.

I don’t really know where this is all coming from today, but I sit here with only my thoughts and think about how everyone I know has changed since college, whether college ended for them in May with me or it ended 4 years ago. Some for the better and some for the worst. I think some people have just made choices about growing up or not. Some have decided to linger on the past (and maybe I’m doing a bit of that too) and some have decided to go the other way, completely shocking everyone with what they are doing. I expected this sort of this would happen, but I guess I never truly believed it until today. Sometimes I think, it’s not the change that’s shocking, it’s who is changing and how they are changing that is shocking to me.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

…Right?

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

A Slight Update on the Last Week

So working in a preschool environment lets me have days off like today…Veteran’s Day. And today on TV I saw so many specials on soldiers coming home. But what is ironic, is that I’m reading the book “The Lucky One” by Nicholas Sparks, which is about a marine that went to Iraq three times and there’s a love story of course. But that’s not the ironic part…even though I know this may not necessarily be a true story, the story about his time in Iraq written by Sparks is quite vivid…and I can maybe slightly imagine the environment and stress over there. Granted I don’t know if what I’m imagining is what it’s like, which is why I say “maybe slightly”. So I salute to you veterans and current armed forces. Thank you! You are some of the bravest people I know.

So Obama is our new president elect. Wow…can you say progress. YAY America!!! I really think it’s amazing that we’ve come so far. I’m not gonna lie. I really thought he was going to take it. All the numbers were pointing to him before the actual election.

So I had a mis-hap and fell of the horse for a week or so but I’m getting back on. I’m going to the gym everyday to train and I’m also eating better. And since I had the whole day off today..it was definitely hard not to munch today, but I found ways to keep myself occupied. I started counting my points again and writing it down. Sometimes as much as I count I somehow seem to forget the bad things I ate that day!!! Oops!

Last weekend my broski came to visit the big city and I think he really loved it. He liked having so many options and that there was just so much to do…beside the fact that he got to see me!!! And this weekend I have a couple friends coming to visit and I’m just SO excited to hang out with them. I haven’t seen them since the day after Nationals in May. Therefore I can’t wait to spend time with them and possible cause trouble!!!

Happy Election Day!

Today is Election Day!! So I’m sitting here on my couch watching how things are unfolding and I realize how happy I am. Not because “my guy” is winning or anything…I’m truly happy because I can’t wait for the effing politics to stop! No more commercials, no more debates, no more news about polls. Its all over in the day or so. All that stuff is exciting, but I feel as though these two candidates have been battling each other and other candidates for the past 2 years or so and I’m sick of hearing about it. Woohoo election day is here, this shit can stop!! But don’t worry, I’m excited to see how things unfold.

While I’m watching all of this I’m realizing no matter who wins, I think things will start to change very quickly once in the White House. I just hope that no matter who wins, America can stand behind the president, because as we’ve seen in the past, when the president fails, America fails, and well I’m sick of our country failing. Therefore, since my vote is already in, I will support whoever wins.
(If he loses...sometimes I will say he would have done it better, but I’ll try real hard not to!)

Just so that everyone knows, there was a preschooler today at school telling people that Santa should be president. It was hilarious!!

So Halloween was on Friday night and I decided to go out…in style…from the 80s. And at this party I went to, Guitar Hero was busted out. I couldn’t help myself but to start talking shit. I rock at Guitar Hero. It was in my apartment all last year and I played multiple songs on a daily basis. I love that game. So I took on a few competitors, and I won. People were very impressed with how much I rock, (I know because Guitar Hero told me so…a lot!). It’s cool, you can call me a nerd, dork, loser, etc. I am very aware that I am all of these! Here are a few pics of me kicking ass:

I’m getting slightly sickly, so it’s time for the nester chester!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

A Few Things Everyone Should Check Out...

I’ve been through 4 full days of work…and its definitely a tiring job, but it’s a good one!! The kids are amazing and absolutely adorable. I love the way kids laugh at the most simple things, so cute!!! I hate the traffic and the 30 minute commute...but I'm getting used to it I guess. I've found I really enjoy using this time to call people and chat it up with them and catch up. Sometimes I just enjoy my music, but I get bored with songs and play lists quickly. In the morning hours I HIGHLY enjoy my coffee! But by night time I'm tired and usually just want to get home.

This morning my sister said to me "Tomorrow is the last morning you have to get up early!" I quickly turned to her and said. "Tomorrow is that last morning this week, I have to get up early every morning for the rest of my life....therefore, your wrong and I hate the idea of working everyday for the rest of my life....this effing sucks!" I had just woke up so I was not very happy.

Anyway...

So I think everyone should start checking out Post Secrets. It is an organization that was started by a man, Frank Warren, in his home to help people cope with secrets they held inside. He encouraged people to send him anonymous post cards with their secrets on them, and from there, it pretty much blew up. He has made it into a public art project and has a few books out, merely a collection of anonymous secrets. Its really quite amazing. This is the website that he posts new secrets on every Sunday. It has really helped me to read stuff like this to know everyone has secrets that they bury.

My second order of business is this video that my friend Chloe showed me: Enjoy!

Nobodys Perfect

EFFING HILARIOUS!!!! Like seriously I was crying!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Stuck In The Lyrics

This past weekend I headed back to Ithaca for the day on Saturday. Every year the crew team has a big race called “Intersquads”. It’s where the team, Men, Women, Experience, Freshman, are all mixed into different boats, and if you know anything about crew, you know that can be a pretty rough row. So there were a bunch of alums and we put together a lineup to row against all the other 12 boats. We took third..so it was fun kicking ass!! I am so sore today its not even funny! And its not like my legs are sore or anything, but my forearms and triceps are killing me…which are two muscles areas I would not have expected to be hurting me!!! It was so great to see everyone and it made me miss everything so much. My friends, crew, the college life!! Hopefully I will be making it back to Ithaca to see all those lovely ladies again soon.

So besides that the past few days I’ve been laying pretty low. Hanging out with the fam and some friends..etc. So I was in a very musical mood today on my drive back so I will leave you with some of the great lyrics I was belting out on my way back (PS I totally got caught rocking out today while driving and the guy completely started cracking up…which in turn made me start laughing..it was rather awkward…but HILARIOUS!)

Don’t Forget: Demi Lovato
Did you forget that I was even alive
Did you forget everything we ever had
Did you forget about me
Did you regret ever standing by my side
Did you forget what we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget about us

I Still Ain’t Over You: Augustana
Out of luck and out of tune
Half a day and I'm confused
Love may wash away the bruise
But I still ain't over you

It’s Amazing: Jem
It's amazing, it's amazing
all that you can do
It's amazing, makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you

Sweet and Low: Augustana
Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,
I said, hell is so close and heaven's out of reach
But I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, sweet and low, and I will carry you home
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl
Hold me down, and I'll carry you home
The rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine,
The wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise
She said, when that day comes, look into my eyes
No one's giving up quite yet,
We've got too much to lose
And I'll carry you all the way,
When you say you're fine
But you're still young, and out of line
When all I need's to turn around,
To make it last, to make it count
I ain't gonna make the same mistakes
That put my mama in her grave
I don't wanna be alone

Kissing: Bliss
The red light of the sun,
Slowly descending.
The sky is all I see,
It's never ending.
We could fly,
You and I.
On a cloud,
Kissing, kissing.
The wind plays with the leaves,
The weather turns colder.
But as long as we believe,
Love doesn't get older.
We could fly,
You and I.
On a cloud,
Kissing, kissing.
On a journey of the heart,
There's so much to see.
And when the sky is dark,
You'll be right here,
Right here with me.
Right here with me.
Kissing.

Believe in Me: Demi Lovato
I don't wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful
Today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual
Ways you see
I just wanna believe in me

The Heart of the Matter: Indie.Aire
I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Believe: Yellowcard
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

This one is a longin'

This morning I thought it was a good idea to get up at 6 AM and run outside to the gym and then workout at the gym and then run home. Because you know I’m sooooooooo busy with my couch life and all (which ends Monday and I’m a little upset about that…but I like money so whatevs). I went outside and it was 44 degrees out AND RAINING! It was effing raining (that was the first time I wanted to die), just the smell of cold early morning reminded me of the March morning practices we had for Crew. I had a slight flashback of rowing through ice chunks on the inlet and Becky (coach) being like “Row slow, lots of ice.” Like that wasn’t a clue that it wasn’t normal to be out there dodging ice chunks. So my sister and I start the run and in order to make the right mileage to get to the gym, we actually had to pass by our street again (that was the second time I wanted to die). As I’m running along listening to my “Winter Training 2008” mix from last year a song comes on and I have a flashback of 8 ergs lined up on sliders, the boathouse windows fogged up, and us rotating between 20 minute pieces and weights. So we finish our run at the gym, do some good weights and decide it’s time to go home. At this time I realize, I have RUN back home (this is the third time I wanted to die) Now my gym is only like 1 mile from my house, but I’ve just killed myself running to the gym and then I did weights, I just wanted to osmosis back into my bed. Let me mind you when I woke up this morning I was actually warm in my bed, like I had to stick an arm out of the covers! For those of you that live in the south…say Florida?....you are probably like wow what a wuss its like 80 today….YEAH WELL ITS COLD UP HERE IN THE NORTHERN PARTS OF THE COUNTRY! And as I entered my house and went into my room, I saw my bed, and Spout (my stuffed Elephant…yes I am aware that I am 22), and ALL I wanted to do was climb in bed and fall back asleep. This was about the fourth time I wanted to die. I got up this morning and wanted to die four times in like an hour and a half!!! I think for my health I shouldn’t get up early and run anymore, I’ll save it for the evening hours. Really I’m slightly concerned for myself.

So when my sister got home from work last night, she saw my painting and laughed. Now let me fill you in, she’s not really the abstract painting kind of girl. She’s our classy girl, with good taste. She doesn’t like random paintings on our walls, no instead she puts up pictures of places NONE OF US HAVE EVER BEEN. She buys them at Target and Walmart and hangs them on our walls like she or someone she knows went to effing Italy and took those artistic photos. Don’t let her fool you. Now she can match her clothes very well (unlike myself) and she has beautiful handwriting (unlike my chicken scratch), so really if she were to paint, I’m sure she would rock the house at it. So as she’s laughing at it I held it up to her face and said “What the hell are you laughing at, I worked hard at this” Her response… “What election are you living in? Are we trying to elect Bobby Kennedy or something?” Ok good point. I told her I was going between a peace sign or a heart, and she said “You are supposed to be the creative one, peace signs and hearts? That shit is so predictable.” Ok Ok you got my again, but I’m not really that creative, more like disheveled. My brain was just freezing up and I didn’t know what to paint, so I thought I’ll be peacy cause I’m kinda in that mood (peacy=not a word but I like it). So I haven’t decided if I’m going to be sharing this painting with you. Maybe I will sometime so you can all appreciate my first painting more! My sister brought up a good point this morning, I have yet to come up with a way to sign my artwork. I think she may have brought this up to make fun of me, but it’s a good point, I need to get on that.

...ok fine you've convinced me to share my painting with you...but keep in mind...I'M GOING TO REVAMP IT AND IT WILL LOOK BETTER....its ok to laugh out loud..i will not be offended

Ok so out of my family, my mom and dad are normal, my sister is the classy one of the family, my younger brother is like good at anything and everything (I refer to him as “The Prince”), and well every family has a crazy one, so that leaves me. I have yet to figure out why I’ve been dubbed the crazy one, my mother says I live outside the box (hence the name) when everyone else is in the box. I still don’t get it. So when I went to the gym yesterday, I happened to grab my bright orange “Beat The Cocks” t-shirt. When my sister saw this she didn’t want anything to do with me. She said “I can’t believe you wearing that to the gym” (FYI: I got it in Clemson, SC last year on spring break, there rival is the USC Gamecocks so it makes sense. Plus its really funny!!!)

I drove home today to take care of some things before my job starts on Monday. In order to pass the hours upon hours I have what I call….a concert. I rock out to anything and everything rock-outable. My music is up at high as it goes (which causes my ears to ring once I get out of the car), and pretend that I am actually in concert with whoever is playing on my ipod. I mean anything from Shaggy, Dixie Chicks, Faith Hill, Rascal Flatts, Ja Rule, John Mayer, Neyo, Danity Kane, Pussycat Dolls etc. And I wonder whyyyyyyyyyy my family thinks I’m a lunatic…

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Over It

Ok so I had my night of depression, I've decided I need to get over it. Being far from friends and family is hard but its life. So to shake my depressive state off, I hit the gym last night. I get to the gym, one that I had an interview at, and I struck up a conversation with the guy that interviewed me and ended up being offered a part time position there. Sweet! Now I'll be bringing in a little more money which sounds fabulous to me! :-) I'd be working early mornings or late nights (because my assistant teacher job is already full-time), which kind of sucks, but I need the money so I'm willing to do anything!

So today I decided to paint again! I was so proud of my first painting I was bound to screw the second one up....and sure enough I don't really like it. I decided to do the normal background and then I couldn't decide on an abstract shape to paint, so I decided to paint a peace sign. I should have just left the background yellow and finished it there. It just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. After I finished it I looked at it and decided there were probably a million was I could have done it better. Maybe I can paint over it tomorrow and it will look better, or it will look more like shit.. haha. Ehh whatevs maybe I'll try it again sometime in a few weeks.

Boredom is getting to me. I've decided to make my sister a plan to start lifting and running regularly. I'm bored with my life so I'm going to help her do well in the half marathon we're training for. I hope to get up to doing the same work outs with her but my cardio just isn't back up yet. I'm still working on that. In time I will get there damn it...cause I'm determined.

I found this website that pretty much tricks out blogs. haha Its called cutest blogs on the block. It pretty much gives you a bunch of backgrounds to make your blog a little more fancy or you can give it a rockstar edge! I spent a while on it this morning and pick out my background but I can feel myself getting bored with it fast so I have a feeling I will be changing it soon. haha

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Pathetic...

Sooooooo I haven’t blogged in a while so here it goes…

“…I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
(COMPLETELY FABULOUS AND UDDERLY AMAZING ROCK OUT AIR VIOLIN SOLO)
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should…”

You know when you hear a song come on the radio and all you can think of is a certain time and place with certain person. In my car, on race day, outside the boathouse, with my hetero-life mate…or…in our apartment, drinking bottles of wine, having a dance party in our spandex…or…in towers during post season sophomore year, waking up for morning practice and having our routine rock out session before we actually get up.

------------------------------------

This weekend I saw some of my friends and I realized that having friends is amazing. I love my friends and I love being around them. I also know that I have about no friends in my big city besides my sisters friends who have been nice enough to put up with me and include me…so nice! My best friends are scattered all over the country, Florida, Virginia, New Jersey…etc. I hate it. I was talking to my friend/other half Dani Fanster on the phone the other day and we were telling jokes and being dumb (totally normal) and I just realized I wanted her to be here. We were inseparable for the past 4 years. We had the same major, we rowed together and we lived together…so seriously we did everything together. We have been called Dandace before and if you’ve ever been in a bar with us you know we are insane together. We are crazy sober and even crazier drunks. We are completely and totally different people but yet we are kind of the same person…if that’s possible. We refer to each other as the other’s hetero-life mate. Be jealous. We spent the whole summer together (AT CAMP!) and being so far is giving me severe separation anxiety.

Soooo I saw a bunch of my fellow bombers this weekend and we had a great time hanging out and going to a bar to watch the big baseball game and have weird guys hit on us and it was a blast. But through all of this I was just like wow this only happens so often because everyone is so far and it sucks. I have always hated distance because its redic that it takes more than a weekend to visit friends. When you are someone who is broke just coming into the “real world” how are you supposed to see your best friends and keep a job?! I just don’t see this going well. Being far from friends is hard and being away from friends AND family can be even harder. Good thing I’ve got my sister here so not everyone is so far.

This weekend I got to see my fellow bombers race and totally kick ass. It made me miss rowing OHHHHHHHH SO BAD! but at the same time I’m so proud of my girls for doing amazing. I’m so excited for them and this upcoming spring season. They are totally going to do amazing and I can’t wait to go to Nationals and watching them rock the house!!!! They deserve to beat Puget Sound and I BELIEVE they can!!

So pretty much after a great weekend its sort of a lonely Sunday Night :-( I’m really REALLY starting to miss those close to my heart…

*BELIEVE*

Annnnnnnnnd The Job Hunt Is OVAAAA....WOOHOO!!

Ok soooo I GOT A JOB!! It has absolutely NOTHING to do with my major but it’s something I actually will enjoy doing. I will be working at a Daycare. I know I know not the most glamorous job, but I LOVE kids so it’s pretty much perfect for now. I mean, I get to play with babies all day!!! SO FUNSIES!!! Ok so I think the job might include a little more than just playing, but I mean they are kids, playing is what they do.

So I’ve started this blog and now I’m inspiring people!! LOVE IT. My friend/same person in a different body started a blog too. Chloe has now started a blog, so check it out!! I hope some of you will start a blog too, cause well they are super fun and well kind of addicting.

So I joined my gym yesterday and I loved it. I hate treadmills and have decided they will be my death, but it was so nice to actually be in a gym with weights and everything else so I could really get a full workout after my run. Yeah so after my run/walk yesterday on the treadmill I am absolutely feeling I won’t be ready to run anything before next year because I just am sucking that bad. Ok so I’m over exaggerating, but it’s what I do so whatevs. But it was seriously the worst run everrrrr. I just want to be able to have the same stamina I had like 2 months ago because that was perfect but now I’m starting from scratch after this dreadful knee injury. I guess I haven’t really said much about that so I’ll explain:

I was in amazing shape in May due to training for Nationals (yeah Ithaca’s a big deal-GO BOMBERS). And then I went to summer camp. Well I was a counselor at a summer camp, not a camper. I think I went for maybe two runs all summer, but I was really active doing all my activities with my campers so I managed to stay in decent shape. Then I got home and started to run and play tennis a bit and then one day on my AMAZING four mile run my knee was producing very painful shape pains so I had to stop early (total bummer because the run was so good). So I figured it was just a weird thing and the next day I would be fine. Oh no my friends, the next day I couldn’t even walk. I seriously thought I shattered my knee cap (again slight exaggeration). One night I went to the ER just to make sure I didn’t do anything serious, but being an ER they just took an x-ray and they were like “Your fine and you should be 100% in a few days.” At that point I was like “You suck and you lie MR. ER Doctor” so I made an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon (because if you didn’t know I’ve already had two knee surgeries to fix the same torn meniscus two separate times). Their first thought was that since I had so little meniscus in my knee from it being removed, I was going to need a meniscus transplant (take out my entire meniscus and screw a new one in from a lab-grown cadaver’s meniscus) which meant 6-8 months of rehab before I would even be able to do anything. So after an MRI they realized it was just a lot of scar tissue built up that was rubbing on my knee cap which was causing lots of pain (SOOOO RELIEVED!!!). So after a shot of cortisone and some really strong anti-inflammatories, I was allowed to run again and really kick it up to high gear. So this whole process took about two month where I did nothing to irritate my knee so I could do day-to-day things, like walk. Now I’m paying the price because I have no stamina at all what-so-ever…BOO!!

Now that you are filled in on my life a little more you know why I am sucking at running and why I really want to get back in shape, because the last run I had before my injury was without a question the best run maybe I’ve ever had. It was one of those runs that I could have kept running forever!

I just picked up a new book. Nicolas Sparks just released The Lucky One. I LOVE his books which are mostly corny love stories but I really enjoy them. I haven’t started it yet, but I hope to soon. Now without school work I have a lot more time at night to enjoy reading as opposed to doing last minute homework that is due first thing the next morning! Any good recommendations for books out there?!

Livin' Life

So I’ve had a pretty uneventful past few days. I’m still doing that job search thing…which by the way is absolutely awful and I’m slowly learning that Grad School may be coming for me quicker than I thought. I’ve been starting to think about which way I want to go with Grad school, whether it be education, nursing, or even go for the risk of coaching, which I feel can be hard to crack into. I have really enjoyed school like some have. I would much rather sleep through classes than actually pay attention and I would also much rather be out getting drinks with friends than study for tests. I know this is how most people probably feel as well, but I find school and classes to be absolutely awful and very painful. Maybe if I find my niche, I will actually enjoy sitting through lectures and doing all those painful assignments. Some enjoy taking classes just to learn more, like my sister who is taking a class to learn more about her field. She blogs on DivaDiggs.

With all this free time I have on my hands when I’m not searching the web for anything that pays, I have started to think about things that I can do to fill my time. So I went to a craft store to buy some paint and a few of those canvas things. So on Thursday night I painted. Now let me fill all of you in…I’m not creative. I can barely match my own clothes let alone put together something on a canvas that would look semi-decent. I went for the abstract route because I can barely write my name legibly and trying to make shapes and images come together is just impossible for me. So I started basic with some background colors and well…it didn’t end up too awfully. Here it is: I have to admit I’m impressed with what I did. So I think I may paint again, but I’m afraid I will ruin my proud moment as a painter.

I ran about 3 miles yesterday, I enjoyed the run but I was definitely hurting. Not running, or really not doing ANYTHING for about a month and a half really takes a toll. I’m really trying to get aggressive with my running, but some days I’d much rather lay on my couch. I’m joining a gym tonight which I’m very excited about because I can’t wait to get back into lifting weights. I don’t plan on being quite as aggressive with my lifting as I have been for the past four years. I feel if I can really get into lifting for endurance rather than strength and power, I will be much happier. Ahh I can’t wait to go to the gym (today must not be one of those days I want to spend laying on the couch!)

Just Starting Things Up

So I'm new to this whole blog thing and now that I'm in a big city, blogging seems like its all the rage!! I just graduated college with a BS in Exercise Science. I spent the past four years rowing for Ithaca and now I've become completely obsessed with the sport. Since I'm no longer training to compete with my team, I've decided I need to train for something else. I have two half-marathons planned for February and May. Since I've been through two knee surgeries, running can be painful at times, especially at the thought of 13.1 miles in one shot. I'm starting my big time training November 1st and I'm using from now until then to just get back into the swing of things with running.

I just finished a fabulous Sunday evening with Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters and I am now using this new blog to procrastinate looking for a job. Thats something that I desperately need to find in order to continue my stay here in the big city because I've officially run out of my "summer job fund".

This summer I did some great reading. I had a lot of free time at night to read and got to read some books that I've had on my "To-Do" list for a while. Some of these include Running with Scissors and Dry, both by Augusten Burroughs and A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. All three of those are amazinggggg books!!

Anyways, I hope I can stay with this blog thing. We'll see.

Outside the Box