I'm Pathetic...

Sooooooo I haven’t blogged in a while so here it goes…

“…I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
(COMPLETELY FABULOUS AND UDDERLY AMAZING ROCK OUT AIR VIOLIN SOLO)
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should…”

You know when you hear a song come on the radio and all you can think of is a certain time and place with certain person. In my car, on race day, outside the boathouse, with my hetero-life mate…or…in our apartment, drinking bottles of wine, having a dance party in our spandex…or…in towers during post season sophomore year, waking up for morning practice and having our routine rock out session before we actually get up.

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This weekend I saw some of my friends and I realized that having friends is amazing. I love my friends and I love being around them. I also know that I have about no friends in my big city besides my sisters friends who have been nice enough to put up with me and include me…so nice! My best friends are scattered all over the country, Florida, Virginia, New Jersey…etc. I hate it. I was talking to my friend/other half Dani Fanster on the phone the other day and we were telling jokes and being dumb (totally normal) and I just realized I wanted her to be here. We were inseparable for the past 4 years. We had the same major, we rowed together and we lived together…so seriously we did everything together. We have been called Dandace before and if you’ve ever been in a bar with us you know we are insane together. We are crazy sober and even crazier drunks. We are completely and totally different people but yet we are kind of the same person…if that’s possible. We refer to each other as the other’s hetero-life mate. Be jealous. We spent the whole summer together (AT CAMP!) and being so far is giving me severe separation anxiety.

Soooo I saw a bunch of my fellow bombers this weekend and we had a great time hanging out and going to a bar to watch the big baseball game and have weird guys hit on us and it was a blast. But through all of this I was just like wow this only happens so often because everyone is so far and it sucks. I have always hated distance because its redic that it takes more than a weekend to visit friends. When you are someone who is broke just coming into the “real world” how are you supposed to see your best friends and keep a job?! I just don’t see this going well. Being far from friends is hard and being away from friends AND family can be even harder. Good thing I’ve got my sister here so not everyone is so far.

This weekend I got to see my fellow bombers race and totally kick ass. It made me miss rowing OHHHHHHHH SO BAD! but at the same time I’m so proud of my girls for doing amazing. I’m so excited for them and this upcoming spring season. They are totally going to do amazing and I can’t wait to go to Nationals and watching them rock the house!!!! They deserve to beat Puget Sound and I BELIEVE they can!!

So pretty much after a great weekend its sort of a lonely Sunday Night :-( I’m really REALLY starting to miss those close to my heart…

*BELIEVE*