A Few Things Everyone Should Check Out...

I’ve been through 4 full days of work…and its definitely a tiring job, but it’s a good one!! The kids are amazing and absolutely adorable. I love the way kids laugh at the most simple things, so cute!!! I hate the traffic and the 30 minute commute...but I'm getting used to it I guess. I've found I really enjoy using this time to call people and chat it up with them and catch up. Sometimes I just enjoy my music, but I get bored with songs and play lists quickly. In the morning hours I HIGHLY enjoy my coffee! But by night time I'm tired and usually just want to get home.

This morning my sister said to me "Tomorrow is the last morning you have to get up early!" I quickly turned to her and said. "Tomorrow is that last morning this week, I have to get up early every morning for the rest of my life....therefore, your wrong and I hate the idea of working everyday for the rest of my life....this effing sucks!" I had just woke up so I was not very happy.

Anyway...

So I think everyone should start checking out Post Secrets. It is an organization that was started by a man, Frank Warren, in his home to help people cope with secrets they held inside. He encouraged people to send him anonymous post cards with their secrets on them, and from there, it pretty much blew up. He has made it into a public art project and has a few books out, merely a collection of anonymous secrets. Its really quite amazing. This is the website that he posts new secrets on every Sunday. It has really helped me to read stuff like this to know everyone has secrets that they bury.

My second order of business is this video that my friend Chloe showed me: Enjoy!

Nobodys Perfect

EFFING HILARIOUS!!!! Like seriously I was crying!

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Stuck In The Lyrics

This past weekend I headed back to Ithaca for the day on Saturday. Every year the crew team has a big race called “Intersquads”. It’s where the team, Men, Women, Experience, Freshman, are all mixed into different boats, and if you know anything about crew, you know that can be a pretty rough row. So there were a bunch of alums and we put together a lineup to row against all the other 12 boats. We took third..so it was fun kicking ass!! I am so sore today its not even funny! And its not like my legs are sore or anything, but my forearms and triceps are killing me…which are two muscles areas I would not have expected to be hurting me!!! It was so great to see everyone and it made me miss everything so much. My friends, crew, the college life!! Hopefully I will be making it back to Ithaca to see all those lovely ladies again soon.

So besides that the past few days I’ve been laying pretty low. Hanging out with the fam and some friends..etc. So I was in a very musical mood today on my drive back so I will leave you with some of the great lyrics I was belting out on my way back (PS I totally got caught rocking out today while driving and the guy completely started cracking up…which in turn made me start laughing..it was rather awkward…but HILARIOUS!)

Don’t Forget: Demi Lovato
Did you forget that I was even alive
Did you forget everything we ever had
Did you forget about me
Did you regret ever standing by my side
Did you forget what we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget about us

I Still Ain’t Over You: Augustana
Out of luck and out of tune
Half a day and I'm confused
Love may wash away the bruise
But I still ain't over you

It’s Amazing: Jem
It's amazing, it's amazing
all that you can do
It's amazing, makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you

Sweet and Low: Augustana
Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,
I said, hell is so close and heaven's out of reach
But I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, sweet and low, and I will carry you home
Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl
Hold me down, and I'll carry you home
The rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine,
The wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise
She said, when that day comes, look into my eyes
No one's giving up quite yet,
We've got too much to lose
And I'll carry you all the way,
When you say you're fine
But you're still young, and out of line
When all I need's to turn around,
To make it last, to make it count
I ain't gonna make the same mistakes
That put my mama in her grave
I don't wanna be alone

Kissing: Bliss
The red light of the sun,
Slowly descending.
The sky is all I see,
It's never ending.
We could fly,
You and I.
On a cloud,
Kissing, kissing.
The wind plays with the leaves,
The weather turns colder.
But as long as we believe,
Love doesn't get older.
We could fly,
You and I.
On a cloud,
Kissing, kissing.
On a journey of the heart,
There's so much to see.
And when the sky is dark,
You'll be right here,
Right here with me.
Right here with me.
Kissing.

Believe in Me: Demi Lovato
I don't wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful
Today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual
Ways you see
I just wanna believe in me

The Heart of the Matter: Indie.Aire
I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Believe: Yellowcard
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

This one is a longin'

This morning I thought it was a good idea to get up at 6 AM and run outside to the gym and then workout at the gym and then run home. Because you know I’m sooooooooo busy with my couch life and all (which ends Monday and I’m a little upset about that…but I like money so whatevs). I went outside and it was 44 degrees out AND RAINING! It was effing raining (that was the first time I wanted to die), just the smell of cold early morning reminded me of the March morning practices we had for Crew. I had a slight flashback of rowing through ice chunks on the inlet and Becky (coach) being like “Row slow, lots of ice.” Like that wasn’t a clue that it wasn’t normal to be out there dodging ice chunks. So my sister and I start the run and in order to make the right mileage to get to the gym, we actually had to pass by our street again (that was the second time I wanted to die). As I’m running along listening to my “Winter Training 2008” mix from last year a song comes on and I have a flashback of 8 ergs lined up on sliders, the boathouse windows fogged up, and us rotating between 20 minute pieces and weights. So we finish our run at the gym, do some good weights and decide it’s time to go home. At this time I realize, I have RUN back home (this is the third time I wanted to die) Now my gym is only like 1 mile from my house, but I’ve just killed myself running to the gym and then I did weights, I just wanted to osmosis back into my bed. Let me mind you when I woke up this morning I was actually warm in my bed, like I had to stick an arm out of the covers! For those of you that live in the south…say Florida?....you are probably like wow what a wuss its like 80 today….YEAH WELL ITS COLD UP HERE IN THE NORTHERN PARTS OF THE COUNTRY! And as I entered my house and went into my room, I saw my bed, and Spout (my stuffed Elephant…yes I am aware that I am 22), and ALL I wanted to do was climb in bed and fall back asleep. This was about the fourth time I wanted to die. I got up this morning and wanted to die four times in like an hour and a half!!! I think for my health I shouldn’t get up early and run anymore, I’ll save it for the evening hours. Really I’m slightly concerned for myself.

So when my sister got home from work last night, she saw my painting and laughed. Now let me fill you in, she’s not really the abstract painting kind of girl. She’s our classy girl, with good taste. She doesn’t like random paintings on our walls, no instead she puts up pictures of places NONE OF US HAVE EVER BEEN. She buys them at Target and Walmart and hangs them on our walls like she or someone she knows went to effing Italy and took those artistic photos. Don’t let her fool you. Now she can match her clothes very well (unlike myself) and she has beautiful handwriting (unlike my chicken scratch), so really if she were to paint, I’m sure she would rock the house at it. So as she’s laughing at it I held it up to her face and said “What the hell are you laughing at, I worked hard at this” Her response… “What election are you living in? Are we trying to elect Bobby Kennedy or something?” Ok good point. I told her I was going between a peace sign or a heart, and she said “You are supposed to be the creative one, peace signs and hearts? That shit is so predictable.” Ok Ok you got my again, but I’m not really that creative, more like disheveled. My brain was just freezing up and I didn’t know what to paint, so I thought I’ll be peacy cause I’m kinda in that mood (peacy=not a word but I like it). So I haven’t decided if I’m going to be sharing this painting with you. Maybe I will sometime so you can all appreciate my first painting more! My sister brought up a good point this morning, I have yet to come up with a way to sign my artwork. I think she may have brought this up to make fun of me, but it’s a good point, I need to get on that.

...ok fine you've convinced me to share my painting with you...but keep in mind...I'M GOING TO REVAMP IT AND IT WILL LOOK BETTER....its ok to laugh out loud..i will not be offended

Ok so out of my family, my mom and dad are normal, my sister is the classy one of the family, my younger brother is like good at anything and everything (I refer to him as “The Prince”), and well every family has a crazy one, so that leaves me. I have yet to figure out why I’ve been dubbed the crazy one, my mother says I live outside the box (hence the name) when everyone else is in the box. I still don’t get it. So when I went to the gym yesterday, I happened to grab my bright orange “Beat The Cocks” t-shirt. When my sister saw this she didn’t want anything to do with me. She said “I can’t believe you wearing that to the gym” (FYI: I got it in Clemson, SC last year on spring break, there rival is the USC Gamecocks so it makes sense. Plus its really funny!!!)

I drove home today to take care of some things before my job starts on Monday. In order to pass the hours upon hours I have what I call….a concert. I rock out to anything and everything rock-outable. My music is up at high as it goes (which causes my ears to ring once I get out of the car), and pretend that I am actually in concert with whoever is playing on my ipod. I mean anything from Shaggy, Dixie Chicks, Faith Hill, Rascal Flatts, Ja Rule, John Mayer, Neyo, Danity Kane, Pussycat Dolls etc. And I wonder whyyyyyyyyyy my family thinks I’m a lunatic…

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Over It

Ok so I had my night of depression, I've decided I need to get over it. Being far from friends and family is hard but its life. So to shake my depressive state off, I hit the gym last night. I get to the gym, one that I had an interview at, and I struck up a conversation with the guy that interviewed me and ended up being offered a part time position there. Sweet! Now I'll be bringing in a little more money which sounds fabulous to me! :-) I'd be working early mornings or late nights (because my assistant teacher job is already full-time), which kind of sucks, but I need the money so I'm willing to do anything!

So today I decided to paint again! I was so proud of my first painting I was bound to screw the second one up....and sure enough I don't really like it. I decided to do the normal background and then I couldn't decide on an abstract shape to paint, so I decided to paint a peace sign. I should have just left the background yellow and finished it there. It just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. After I finished it I looked at it and decided there were probably a million was I could have done it better. Maybe I can paint over it tomorrow and it will look better, or it will look more like shit.. haha. Ehh whatevs maybe I'll try it again sometime in a few weeks.

Boredom is getting to me. I've decided to make my sister a plan to start lifting and running regularly. I'm bored with my life so I'm going to help her do well in the half marathon we're training for. I hope to get up to doing the same work outs with her but my cardio just isn't back up yet. I'm still working on that. In time I will get there damn it...cause I'm determined.

I found this website that pretty much tricks out blogs. haha Its called cutest blogs on the block. It pretty much gives you a bunch of backgrounds to make your blog a little more fancy or you can give it a rockstar edge! I spent a while on it this morning and pick out my background but I can feel myself getting bored with it fast so I have a feeling I will be changing it soon. haha

*ALWAYS BELIEVE*

I'm Pathetic...

Sooooooo I haven’t blogged in a while so here it goes…

“…I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
(COMPLETELY FABULOUS AND UDDERLY AMAZING ROCK OUT AIR VIOLIN SOLO)
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should…”

You know when you hear a song come on the radio and all you can think of is a certain time and place with certain person. In my car, on race day, outside the boathouse, with my hetero-life mate…or…in our apartment, drinking bottles of wine, having a dance party in our spandex…or…in towers during post season sophomore year, waking up for morning practice and having our routine rock out session before we actually get up.

------------------------------------

This weekend I saw some of my friends and I realized that having friends is amazing. I love my friends and I love being around them. I also know that I have about no friends in my big city besides my sisters friends who have been nice enough to put up with me and include me…so nice! My best friends are scattered all over the country, Florida, Virginia, New Jersey…etc. I hate it. I was talking to my friend/other half Dani Fanster on the phone the other day and we were telling jokes and being dumb (totally normal) and I just realized I wanted her to be here. We were inseparable for the past 4 years. We had the same major, we rowed together and we lived together…so seriously we did everything together. We have been called Dandace before and if you’ve ever been in a bar with us you know we are insane together. We are crazy sober and even crazier drunks. We are completely and totally different people but yet we are kind of the same person…if that’s possible. We refer to each other as the other’s hetero-life mate. Be jealous. We spent the whole summer together (AT CAMP!) and being so far is giving me severe separation anxiety.

Soooo I saw a bunch of my fellow bombers this weekend and we had a great time hanging out and going to a bar to watch the big baseball game and have weird guys hit on us and it was a blast. But through all of this I was just like wow this only happens so often because everyone is so far and it sucks. I have always hated distance because its redic that it takes more than a weekend to visit friends. When you are someone who is broke just coming into the “real world” how are you supposed to see your best friends and keep a job?! I just don’t see this going well. Being far from friends is hard and being away from friends AND family can be even harder. Good thing I’ve got my sister here so not everyone is so far.

This weekend I got to see my fellow bombers race and totally kick ass. It made me miss rowing OHHHHHHHH SO BAD! but at the same time I’m so proud of my girls for doing amazing. I’m so excited for them and this upcoming spring season. They are totally going to do amazing and I can’t wait to go to Nationals and watching them rock the house!!!! They deserve to beat Puget Sound and I BELIEVE they can!!

So pretty much after a great weekend its sort of a lonely Sunday Night :-( I’m really REALLY starting to miss those close to my heart…

*BELIEVE*

Annnnnnnnnd The Job Hunt Is OVAAAA....WOOHOO!!

Ok soooo I GOT A JOB!! It has absolutely NOTHING to do with my major but it’s something I actually will enjoy doing. I will be working at a Daycare. I know I know not the most glamorous job, but I LOVE kids so it’s pretty much perfect for now. I mean, I get to play with babies all day!!! SO FUNSIES!!! Ok so I think the job might include a little more than just playing, but I mean they are kids, playing is what they do.

So I’ve started this blog and now I’m inspiring people!! LOVE IT. My friend/same person in a different body started a blog too. Chloe has now started a blog, so check it out!! I hope some of you will start a blog too, cause well they are super fun and well kind of addicting.

So I joined my gym yesterday and I loved it. I hate treadmills and have decided they will be my death, but it was so nice to actually be in a gym with weights and everything else so I could really get a full workout after my run. Yeah so after my run/walk yesterday on the treadmill I am absolutely feeling I won’t be ready to run anything before next year because I just am sucking that bad. Ok so I’m over exaggerating, but it’s what I do so whatevs. But it was seriously the worst run everrrrr. I just want to be able to have the same stamina I had like 2 months ago because that was perfect but now I’m starting from scratch after this dreadful knee injury. I guess I haven’t really said much about that so I’ll explain:

I was in amazing shape in May due to training for Nationals (yeah Ithaca’s a big deal-GO BOMBERS). And then I went to summer camp. Well I was a counselor at a summer camp, not a camper. I think I went for maybe two runs all summer, but I was really active doing all my activities with my campers so I managed to stay in decent shape. Then I got home and started to run and play tennis a bit and then one day on my AMAZING four mile run my knee was producing very painful shape pains so I had to stop early (total bummer because the run was so good). So I figured it was just a weird thing and the next day I would be fine. Oh no my friends, the next day I couldn’t even walk. I seriously thought I shattered my knee cap (again slight exaggeration). One night I went to the ER just to make sure I didn’t do anything serious, but being an ER they just took an x-ray and they were like “Your fine and you should be 100% in a few days.” At that point I was like “You suck and you lie MR. ER Doctor” so I made an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon (because if you didn’t know I’ve already had two knee surgeries to fix the same torn meniscus two separate times). Their first thought was that since I had so little meniscus in my knee from it being removed, I was going to need a meniscus transplant (take out my entire meniscus and screw a new one in from a lab-grown cadaver’s meniscus) which meant 6-8 months of rehab before I would even be able to do anything. So after an MRI they realized it was just a lot of scar tissue built up that was rubbing on my knee cap which was causing lots of pain (SOOOO RELIEVED!!!). So after a shot of cortisone and some really strong anti-inflammatories, I was allowed to run again and really kick it up to high gear. So this whole process took about two month where I did nothing to irritate my knee so I could do day-to-day things, like walk. Now I’m paying the price because I have no stamina at all what-so-ever…BOO!!

Now that you are filled in on my life a little more you know why I am sucking at running and why I really want to get back in shape, because the last run I had before my injury was without a question the best run maybe I’ve ever had. It was one of those runs that I could have kept running forever!

I just picked up a new book. Nicolas Sparks just released The Lucky One. I LOVE his books which are mostly corny love stories but I really enjoy them. I haven’t started it yet, but I hope to soon. Now without school work I have a lot more time at night to enjoy reading as opposed to doing last minute homework that is due first thing the next morning! Any good recommendations for books out there?!

Livin' Life

So I’ve had a pretty uneventful past few days. I’m still doing that job search thing…which by the way is absolutely awful and I’m slowly learning that Grad School may be coming for me quicker than I thought. I’ve been starting to think about which way I want to go with Grad school, whether it be education, nursing, or even go for the risk of coaching, which I feel can be hard to crack into. I have really enjoyed school like some have. I would much rather sleep through classes than actually pay attention and I would also much rather be out getting drinks with friends than study for tests. I know this is how most people probably feel as well, but I find school and classes to be absolutely awful and very painful. Maybe if I find my niche, I will actually enjoy sitting through lectures and doing all those painful assignments. Some enjoy taking classes just to learn more, like my sister who is taking a class to learn more about her field. She blogs on DivaDiggs.

With all this free time I have on my hands when I’m not searching the web for anything that pays, I have started to think about things that I can do to fill my time. So I went to a craft store to buy some paint and a few of those canvas things. So on Thursday night I painted. Now let me fill all of you in…I’m not creative. I can barely match my own clothes let alone put together something on a canvas that would look semi-decent. I went for the abstract route because I can barely write my name legibly and trying to make shapes and images come together is just impossible for me. So I started basic with some background colors and well…it didn’t end up too awfully. Here it is: I have to admit I’m impressed with what I did. So I think I may paint again, but I’m afraid I will ruin my proud moment as a painter.

I ran about 3 miles yesterday, I enjoyed the run but I was definitely hurting. Not running, or really not doing ANYTHING for about a month and a half really takes a toll. I’m really trying to get aggressive with my running, but some days I’d much rather lay on my couch. I’m joining a gym tonight which I’m very excited about because I can’t wait to get back into lifting weights. I don’t plan on being quite as aggressive with my lifting as I have been for the past four years. I feel if I can really get into lifting for endurance rather than strength and power, I will be much happier. Ahh I can’t wait to go to the gym (today must not be one of those days I want to spend laying on the couch!)

Just Starting Things Up

So I'm new to this whole blog thing and now that I'm in a big city, blogging seems like its all the rage!! I just graduated college with a BS in Exercise Science. I spent the past four years rowing for Ithaca and now I've become completely obsessed with the sport. Since I'm no longer training to compete with my team, I've decided I need to train for something else. I have two half-marathons planned for February and May. Since I've been through two knee surgeries, running can be painful at times, especially at the thought of 13.1 miles in one shot. I'm starting my big time training November 1st and I'm using from now until then to just get back into the swing of things with running.

I just finished a fabulous Sunday evening with Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters and I am now using this new blog to procrastinate looking for a job. Thats something that I desperately need to find in order to continue my stay here in the big city because I've officially run out of my "summer job fund".

This summer I did some great reading. I had a lot of free time at night to read and got to read some books that I've had on my "To-Do" list for a while. Some of these include Running with Scissors and Dry, both by Augusten Burroughs and A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. All three of those are amazinggggg books!!

Anyways, I hope I can stay with this blog thing. We'll see.

Outside the Box